


Don't Let The Sun Go Down

by setmynameinhighlights



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Panic Attack, idk it's REALLY SAD, transgender!michael, trying on bras, you know the usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 19:21:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3740623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/setmynameinhighlights/pseuds/setmynameinhighlights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>michael realizes his true identity after the painful journey.</p><p>part 2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Let The Sun Go Down

“Calum, these don’t fit,” Michael whined from the Victoria Secret dressing room. It had been a while since he had truly felt good in wearing anything that was relatively tight, because of the fact that people could tell that he wasn’t who he wanted to be. That’s what the worst part of it was, and wearing leggings was not an option all of the time. Wearing tight shirts only made it more obvious that he didn’t have the chest he wanted, either. 

But when it came to trying on bras, there was a huge issues. Nothing fit. Michael didn’t need to wear a bra, of course, but he had been taking hormones, and that had given him a feeling of his chest becoming… something. So, he was going to take that chance that maybe he would just feel better wearing something there. Even if it was a training bra. But he wanted Calum to be happy, because if Calum wasn’t happy, then neither was he. 

“C’mon, Mikey, that’s the smallest they have.” Calum’s voice was directly on the other side of the door as he leaned against it and tried to be respectful of everyone else in the dressing room with them. “Can I see?” 

Michael’s heart stopped for a second. He knew that Calum would just laugh and tell him to forget it and that he was beautiful any way, but he didn’t want to just try and feel better. He knew that wouldn’t help. 

He groaned out as he moved towards the door, unlocking it and knowing that Calum heard it. “There.” He said quietly, walking away from the door before he heard the door start to open, and his boyfriend emerged. 

Calum had always been incredibly encouraging and respectful of Michael’s choices in life, and Michael couldn’t thank him enough for that. There had always been an incredible will for Michael to just stop what he was doing because it hurt a lot of the time-- changing himself into who he truly wanted to be, but he knew that it would be hard, yet, Calum had always been there to support him and make him forget that it was hard. He was always there to convince him that he was doing the right thing for himself, and Michael couldn’t have taken him for granted if he tried.

“Babe,” Calum breathed out, leaning against the doorframe before he gained a wide smile on his face. “You look so good.” 

The bra picked out had been Calum’s choice, of course. It was small, and petite and had a small bow in the front. Michael liked that it was a muted pink, because it complimented his pale skin and body, that had been gaining a smaller figure since starting his hormones. It wasn't making him skinny, but it was distributing fat differently, which was giving him a more hour-glass shape. 

"Are you lying?" Michael gave another look in the mirror, turning around and looking at his back where the strap curved around him.

"Babe, why would I lie to you about something like this? I'm trying to find stuff that turns me on, as well as makes you feel good." A small laugh bubbled out of the boy's lips, but stopped when Michael shot him evil eyes. They softened after realizing that Calum was incredibly understanding throughout this whole process, and had withheld from sex for a long time. A long time. 

Michael did feel bad about that, but he knew that Calum wasn’t forced to stay with him, even though he probably thought he was most days. There were a lot of days that Michael would consider to be ‘bad days’. A lot of days that involved him not being able to look in the mirror without physically being ill, days where he wouldn’t leave his bed other than to go to the bathroom, which, of course then reminded him that he still had a penis, and then there were days that he just wanted to be alone. Days like that he knew were the roughest for Calum because he was so helpless. There was hardly anything he could do to make Michael feel better, and it just made Michael feel worse to know that Calum had to feel that way. 

The glance that they shared wasn’t anything but genuine as Michael looked away from him and back to the mirror. Today could have potentially been one of those mirror days, but Michael was trying his best to stay positive and to just make everything lighter. 

“I like this one,” he shrugged, not really knowing if he actually did, but knowing that he would have to settle for something small, rather than something loud and beautiful like the giant push-up bras looked like. 

Michael was jealous that he wasn’t able to share those, but he also knew that he was taking this into steps. There was nothing wrong with it, and to be fair, there were a lot of women that had just as much as he did on his chest. So, he couldn’t complain. 

“Don’t settle for anything you don’t actually like, Mikey,” Calum leaned against the doorframe still, letting the door sit on his side before walking through and letting the door shut, leaving him to sit on the small, wooden seat behind Michael in the fairly large dressing room. 

Michael sighed, knowing what Calum was saying, but also knowing that he couldn’t be impractical, either. “No, I like these.” Michael held the small bras in his hand, along with a few cute pairs of underwear that he had picked out. They could fit him nicely, and he knew that he already had a few like them, so they would fit the way that he liked. 

“Alright, I’ll go pay, you get changed.” Calum went to take the bras from him before Michael shot him a serious glance and shook his head. 

“No, I’ll pay,” he stated, almost obviously. He took the bras in his hands, going to take the one off of his body before letting it slide down his chest, and feeling a need to cover up. He found his white v-neck (that was actually Calum’s) before slipping it over his body.

Calum took the fallen bra from the floor before shaking his head and smiling at Michael in a way that he knew would melt Michael. Damn, did it annoy Michael that he was so suave. Before Michael even had the chance to argue, Calum had already scooped up the bras and panties and left to go check out while MIchael managed to grab his bag and arrange himself to walk back to where Calum had been standing.

“I don’t want you to think you have to do this,” Michael started as they stood in line; Michael looked into his purse and grabbed a ‘Free Panties’ coupon from it, before handing it to Calum, who took it from Michael’s fingers. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, you know that I like doing things like this for you. It’s better that you feel good instead of being in a slump all the time.” Calum leaned over and kissed Michael’s cheek that was almost covered by a periwinkle colored hair. Michael had been going through phases recently, with dying his hair, and now that it was longer, it was so much prettier and neater. Michael was actually able to style it the way he wanted to, and that made him a lot happier with what he did have. 

The line didn’t take as long as they thought, which was good, because Michael was still on the hunt for some new red lipsticks that he knew drove Calum crazy. Michael already had pretty bright colored lips, but a pop of red was always something to spice up whatever they got going on. 

The thought of the lipstick was shoved in the back of his mind after he noticed one of the mannequins in the store, with the soft white colored lingerie on it. There were wings attached, meaning that it was most likely something that was just supposed to be sexy for the bedroom, and the section itself was pretty much small nighties, and such. But Michael was instantly attracted to it. Stepping out of line next to Calum, Michael made his way to the mannequin before touching the silky fabric of the small panties and lacy corset. It was truly beautiful, and Michael wished with all of his heart that one day he’d be able to look just as beautiful in that.

Once they were home, in their apartment that they shared in West Sydney, all that Michael wanted to do was try on the bras and panties again and again, showing them to Calum in their truest form. 

So, for a good thirty minutes, all Michael did was try them on, giving Calum (who laid on the bed) a full runway show of the coral, turquoise, and magenta colors that filled the matching sets that he--Calum had bought for him.

“What d’you think?” Michael looked over his shoulder, giving Caum a view of his sweet little bum before turning around and placing his hands on his hips. His eyes had neutral brown makeup which made the green from his eyes pop with the most intense shade. Everything looked so perfect, and he actually felt good wearing something like this. He felt like he could pleasure Calum by just wearing this, and he wanted to give back to the boy so much for being so patient with him. 

“I think you’re the sexiest human being on earth,” Calum declared, sitting up and being visibly aroused. His eyes were larger than life and filled with immense lust that dug into Michael’s own. He was starting to understand.

Without another word, Michael made his way to the bed before feeling extremely hesitant. Michael didn't want to be hurt, and he didn't want to disappoint Calum in the slightest-- there was so much disappointment already from not being able to provide for him what he obviously wanted. Calum didn't care about the body parts, obviously, so he shouldn't have to worry about that... But he did. A lot.

Michael worried a lot about what people would think, and that had stopped him from doing a lot of things when he was younger-- it’s why he had just gotten the confidence to truly express himself. It was all Calum. Calum had gotten him to this position, and Calum had been the one who treated him like he was royalty this entire time. Michael just wished that he could give Calum what he wanted in return. Calum was a boy with needs. Michael couldn’t comprehend that factor, because his sex drive was way lower than it should have been. He just… didn’t know. 

“Wait, stop,” Michael pulled away from Calum who had been nuzzling into his neck, kissing at the skin until it felt raw. Michael didn’t want to end this, he definitely didn’t want to upset Calum. There had been so much lead up to this, and Michael knew that he looked good, so he wasn’t sure why he wanted to stop, either. It was overwhelming, really. That was the most reasonable part. 

Calum looked up from his position, hovering over Michael as they laid on the bed together. His hands were on either side of the boy, his dominant hand lifting to caress Michael’s face, a nervous brow set on his face. 

“Babe, what’s up?” 

Michael visibly froze. 

“I,” 

He wanted to cry. He wanted to run away, but he mostly wanted to get away from Calum’s grip because he knew that he wasn’t comfortable there. That wasn’t where he was meant to be, and he knew that. Calum couldn’t want someone so incredibly confused. 

It was happening. He was panicking and he was crying and pushing Calum away and it happened every time. Every. Time. It wasn’t something new, because Michael wasn’t new to this feeling-- this thought in his mind of not being exactly what Calum wanted. 

“Get away! You don’t-- you can’t want me, you--” Michael pushed himself away from the boy, fleeing his bed and trying to cover himself up. “Stop pretending you want to fuck me, I would never want to fuck something so disgusting.” 

Michael backed himself into the corner of the room, distraught and red from eyes leaking out tears of shame. He felt so abused and shamed, but not from Calum-- no. He did nothing wrong. They had done this before, Michael and Calum had been intimate before. They had gotten to the point of sex, and they had done that before. But Michael hadn’t been as self-aware as he was now. There hadn’t been questioning about why his breasts weren’t what they should be. He was figuring out his proportioned body just like Calum was, and he was terrified that one day, Calum would see something he hadn’t seen when they first met.

And he would leave. And the leaving would hurt more than Michael realizing that he hadn’t been loved. Calum wouldn’t have the decency to even say anything, because Calum knows that Michael would beg him to stay-- he would threaten his life. And Calum was spineless. 

“Mikey, please.” Calum spoke firmly, but without anger. He sat up on the bed, feet touching the floor as he sat on the edge of it. His face was starting to draw down as he looked at Michael from afar. Michael’s position on the floor didn’t lead to anything but a worried Calum, and Michael realizing that his bottom was definitely showing, another stupid thing to be self-conscious about. Great.

“Don’t call me that.” Michael’s voice was mustered by a feeling of anger and rage and feeling like he didn’t want to be called that anymore. He wanted to be who he truly was, and although ‘Michael’ was who he was born as, ‘Michael’ wasn’t who he was. It wasn’t what he truly wanted. “I’m a girl, Cal,” He whispered, a few muttering sobs broke out before he put his hand over his mouth and sobbed into himself, the feeling starting to break him down further than he could ever imagine. “I’m a girl.” 

Calum didn’t let Michael’s obvious will to be alone and untouched bother him from running over to Michael on the floor and comforting him in the way that he only knew how: to hold him; to rock him and to keep him so he wouldn’t fall. Calum would never let Michael fall. 

“Who are you, then? What do you want me to call you?” 

Michael had thought about this for years-- many years, really. Figuring out who he wanted to be was a difficult decision, and that was when you weren’t struggling with knowing that you were a girl trapped inside a boy’s body. That was hard. 

“Call me Mickey, please. Nothing too dramatic, but,” Michael’s eyes were weeping, they were so wet and so incredibly puffy. He didn’t know what to do about it. He didn’t want to wipe them away, because he didn’t want to get sticky. Instead, he just let the tears fall into his lips. They tasted salty and warm as he smiled a little bit and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s just enough to be who I want to be.” 

Calum nodded firmly, holding his partner in place before resting his head on Mickey’s own. There wasn’t anything left to say, a few things in mind, but nothing necessary. 

Mickey pulled away. 

“From now on,” He breathed out, his eyes wide and in charge with tears filling them, but a smile across his face. He-- she, wanted this. “I’m a girl. I’m a she. I’m-- call me your girlfriend, would you? I’m a girl, Calum. I’m transgender.” 

For the first time, she was saying it outloud. She was forcing herself to believe something that she was horrified to believe herself because it was the first time that she had thought of the weight of this decision. Changing herself was a decision of a lifetime-- you only get one. But following your gut and being who you want to be is the decision you make for your own life-- no one else’s.

As Calum smiles, she does too. Because Mickey firmly chose that’s who she wanted to be. And it’s who Calum would grow to love, bra and all. 

“You’re my favorite human being, no matter what gender. I don’t care. All I know is that I love your heart, and that’s the most important thing about anyone. You’ve got the biggest heart I’ve ever had the pleasure of loving. Remember that, okay?” 

With a simple nod, she let the tears continue to fall from her face. A sadness was present, but this was the start of something new. The start of a beautiful, happy, and clear view of the sun rising with opportunity for the brightest future.

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the story before this one. I appreciate it. 
> 
> If you have any questions, please don't be rude. I'm not transgender, but I do know some people that are. This is my take on a relationship.


End file.
